Day 16 - The only thing we have to fear

Week 2 weigh in last night. Dreaded it. Rightly so, as it turned out, as lost precisely 1lb.

I'm not feeling that losing 1lb was unjustified, quite the opposite - I was lucky to lose anything at all. I'm annoyed that I sabotaged myself for no reason. I've thought about this weekend a lot, trying to work out why I wasn't prepared to front up to what I was doing and deal with the consequences, why I tried to hide it and 'get away' with a (poor) compromise.

I should preface these remarks by saying that actually nobody has been anything but supportive. My close friends are very, very supportive of me. My husband is a superstar - doing all the shopping, eating before I come home from work, not expecting me to deal with food at all. Big thanks Mr S. So I have no idea where all this reluctance to tell people came from, other than quite simply fear.

Fear. False Evidence Appearing Real. Oh how true.

But this is what scared me. It winds me up how people think its ok to have all sorts of opinions about VLCDs - usually garnered from third hand anecdote, the rabid tabloid press, or wimmins magazines (all such reliable sources, I'm sure you'll agree) - about a) diets they know nothing about b) people with a weight problem, you in particular c) what you 'should' do - hacks me right off...and this is why I had such a major thump off the wagon this weekend. I was too reluctant to confront what other people thought, and couldnt' be doing with all the negativity and criticism that I know comes with telling people you're doing a VLCD.

Comments about 'that's not healthy' or 'your hair will all fall out' or 'it only works for as long as you do it' or even 'why not join weightwatchers' or 'eat less move more'. Grrrrr. Gets right up my nose. If those things worked for me, do you think I'd be here? Jeeez, thanks for those, I never thought of eating less - do you think that'll do it for me? God.

Well that taught me! From here on in, I'm not giving a stuff what people think or how they respond. I have SO proved that it isn't worth trying to conform to what people think you 'ought' to do. A polite 'thank you for your concern, but I'm quite comfortable with my choices' should deter them. And if they persist I'll have no trouble at all just saying that this is, after all, MY choice, and they can butt out now, thankyou SO much.Sorry, I appear to be ranting. But it annoys me in the first place and now I have reason to be very upset about the position I put myself in because of it!

So now I've got to go through the hell of climbing the wall again. Nearly there, I think, but haven't had a brilliant day. Onwards and downwards - tomorrow can only be better.