Day 12 - scales of injustice

Ok, here's today's lesson. Scales are bad. Bad.*

Had I not leapt on the scales in happy anticipation for the last few mornings I would not know that I had not lost an ounce since Tuesday night (day 9). I would, however, know that I have lost 3 inches or so off my waist, that a friend said I looked noticeably thinner, that I've been 100% committed and have not cheated.

I would know all these positive things, and be pleased, and be looking forward to my WI like I was earlier this week, knowing that I couldn't fail but to have lost weight.

Instead, I am annoyed, grumpy, demotivated and disheartened. My WI looms on the horizon like an appointment at the smear test clinic.

Thus - scales are bad. I am going to take the battery out of the bloody things so I cannot be further tempted to 'just see' where I am.

However, I refuse to let this overshadow my day, which has been pretty good actually, despite being freezing for most of it. I got into a pair of size 18 M&S trousers today - proper work trousers, no stretch, proper waistband. I bought them without trying them on months ago, literally months ago, and they never fitted. Today, they do. Rah!! Yay me!!

Off to family bbq tomorrow, and after much internal wrangling, have decided to have one planned meal 'off diet'. Am just hoping that by sticking to lean protein and salad and studiously avoiding carbs and alcohol, I can stay within fingertip distance of ketosis and not have to go through the hell of climbing that wall again. I don't care if people wonder why I'm not drinking, but the thought of spending about 12 hours explaining over and over and over to a sequence of people who will either not understand, or decide (with no basis in fact) that CD is 'bad for you' and spend hours arguing with me and/or trying to make me eat a burger - well, just fills me with abject horror.

This event is not about me, nor do I want it to be, I just want to be a normal guest and not be a topic of conversation, nor do I want to be justifying and defending myself, I'd quite like to enjoy the event too and not spend it feeling beset on all sides by well-meaning people bearing gin and tonic, burgers, crisps and beer. Of course, that might not happen - nobody really cares, do they, but just in case, I have a plan.

I shall take a plate of food, circulate, chat to people, pick at the chicken and salad (there has to be chicken and salad. there always is) then quietly lose the plate. And as far as everyone else is concerned, I've eaten, I'm full, end of story! Hopefully this will work....will report back on success or otherwise on Sunday, and Monday night will be the proof in the pudding, at the WI. I hate to risk my success so far on one meal, but this makes me feel a hell of a lot better than the alternatives, and I feel a lot more positive for having made a sensible choice. (I hope it is sensible)

For anyone non-CD reading this blog (such as it is, so far) - I do actually have a life, by the way, but this is my blog for my CD journey, and I see no reason to bore you, dear reader, with much else!

Lx

*Disclaimer: For me. Not for everyone - whatever works for you, girlfrien'